I Went to Yeezy Season 3 And All I Got Was Confused.

March 7, 2016 9:02 pm

I owe Kanye West an apology.

He let me watch the teaser for his not-yet-released and definitely NOT regular video game. It is an animated exploration of his mother’s death. I didn’t get it, and that hurt his feelings.

To be fair, none of the 20,000 attendees in MSG got it either. So after re-explaining why it is awesome, Kanye played it again and told us to react with a little more enthusiasm. Which we did, and he was elated. And that was probably the least WTF moment of the Yeezy Season 3 presentation.

The whole show gave off the distinct vibe that Kanye’s event team was, one by one, giving up and peacing out. The music, when it was working, was thunderous, with throbbing waves of brain-rattling bass. The mid-song cut-offs may have been random, but they were also opportunities for “Kanye Dear-Diary” monologues, so I suspect he enlisted North to hide out backstage and periodically plug and unplug the sound system.

If his music had gone off without a hitch, we never would have learned that when Kanye grows up, he wants to be the Creative Director of Hermes.

Or, that his album is actually a gospel (but aren’t they all, Kanye?).

Or, that it took a lot of convincing before anyone would let him make the video game.

But most importantly, the Hermes thing.

Sorry, Hermes.

Then there were the models. They weren’t really models, which isn’t to say that they weren’t all super hot and full of attitude. They were. But for the record, they broke quite a few of the show “rules”. Kanye explicitly and reasonably mandated, for example, “DO NOT ACT COOL”, but you could see it in their eyes; they were the stars of Yeezy Season 3. They were totally cool.

Except for one guy who appeared on the jumbotron crying (he will never know, as they could “NOT EVER LOOK AT THE JUMBOTRON”). He was probably overwhelmed by the struggle of both “NOT ACTING” and “STAYING IN CHARACTER”.

You know who DID follow the rules? Naomi Campbell, professional model and master of “ACTING CASUAL” and “SHIFTING WEIGHT FROM SIDE TO SIDE”. Her appearance was brief and random, but nonetheless thrilling for an Xtava Girl.

By the end of the show, some sort of coup was arranged and the models broke rules 8-18 by taking off their clothes and forming a mosh pit. FYI, that has never happened at an Hermes fashion show.

The other main differentiator between the Yeezy show and every other fashion week event was that he charged ¼ of a Manhattan rent check for tickets to his presentation. Perhaps to make up for the loss of profits with his affordable Air Yeezy’s.

“But what of the fashion?!” you ask. If dystopian chic is your thing, then grab a hair net and get at it.

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